Lists of character traits often differ one from another. Some lists of character traits contain as few as six different qualities while others have thirty or more. Our list of character traits, compiled through extensive research, contains sixty-six moral absolutes.

Scroll through the list to find what you need. Click here for character trait definitions.

Adaptability	Appreciation	Attentiveness
Availability	Commitment	Compassion
Concern	Confidence	Consideration
Consistency	Contentment	Cooperation
Courage	Creativity	Decisiveness
Deference	Dependability	Determination
Diligence	Discernment	Discretion
Efficiency	Equitableness	Fairness
Faithfulness	Fearlessness	Flexibility
Forgiveness	Friendliness	Generosity
Gentleness	Gratitude	Honesty
Humility	Integrity	Joyfulness
Kindness	Love	Loyalty
Meekness	Mercifulness	Observance
Optimism	Patience	Peacefulness
Perseverance	Persistence	Persuasiveness
Prudence	Punctuality	Purpose
Resourcefulness	Respect	Responsibility
Security	Self-Control	Sincerity
Submissiveness	Tactfulness	Temperance
Thoroughness	Thriftiness	Tolerance
Trustworthiness	Truthfulness	Virtue

• Character traits are the basis for family values training.
• Character traits are the basis of authentic character education.
• Character traits are the basis for character building.
• Character traits are the basis for personal counseling.
• Character traits are the basis for life coaching.

At the bottom of this page is a table of 66 character traits. The challenge of teaching that many qualities sounds immense, doesn’t it? Character education teachers would have a much easier task if there were only 6 character traits instead of 66. Fathers and Mothers could take it easy if they only had to instill 6 character traits and not 66. There are, however, a full 66 character traits!

Would you omit any?

PARENTS: If you’re like most mothers and fathers, you know that character traits form the basis of

He was twenty-one years old, going on twenty-two. She was nineteen. He was a fun-loving, adventurous, hard-working, and frugal young man. She was a hard-working, frugal young woman who had little time for adventure. As for fun, she often warned, “Never laugh before breakfast!” as she worried around the kitchen preparing that meal.

Some might have thought the two were incompatible, and should never enter into marriage, but they were in love. They were determined to persevere in that love.

They had no pre-nuptial agreement, but she attached one condition to acceptance of his proposal. He must promise to try a spoonful of everything she ever cooked. You see, she had a major in Home Economics and loved cooking. He liked to eat only a handful of things: fried chicken, potatoes, corn, and apple pie.

So much in love was he, however, that he agreed. It was difficult, but he persevered in holding to his pre-marriage promise.

Just one year after their wedding, on Thursday, October 24 1929, panic selling occurred in the United States stock market, and it crashed. They celebrated their wedding anniversary on the first day of the Great Depression. Life became difficult, with little money, but both persevered and refused to give in.

Over the next eleven years, they had three children, and began building a house. He was not a builder by trade, but money was tight, so he taught himself as he went. By hand, he dug out a deep, full basement for the house.

And then, as he began the next step, they learned that one of the children urgently needed ear surgery. In those days before health insurance, the only way to raise money for the surgery was to sell the land with its neatly dug basement. They sold it, but persevered in their dreams and plans for a home of their own.

The U.S. entered World War II on December 8, 1941, and their dream of building a house for their family of five seemed doomed to become a war victim. Both he and she continued to work hard, saving every penny they could.

A fourth baby was stillborn, and they grieved over the tiny son – but persevered in their commitment to one another.

When the war ended, the couple worked harder than ever to save for a house. The old duplex in which they lived seemed to shrink by the day. With three growing children, it was difficult to make ends meet, let alone put aside money for a house, but they exercised perseverance.

Finally, there was enough one spring for a mortgage on land across the street from the first building effort.

Once more, he dug out a basement by hand. Then he began construction of a modest house.

Along with teaching kindness, parents and teachers often get involved in a fight to destroy bullying. In a recent study, 77% of students said they had been bullied. Think about it. Out of every four students in the study, three had been bullied.

Teaching kindness in the right way can change those statistics. Teaching kindness correctly can destroy bullying.

You – the Model

Parents and teachers must become prime models if they hope to succeed at teaching kindness. You must “become” kindness for young people. That means you exercise this trait toward your students, but it also means you exercise it toward others. You eat, sleep, and breathe kindliness.

Young people should be able to say of those who are teaching kindness, “They are always kind to everyone.”

You don’t have to like everyone toward whom you exercise this character trait, but you do have to love: do what is best for them.

What else can you do to become a model of kindliness?

• Watch for needs. Observe people, and note their needs.
• Offer help. Kindliness tries to fill observed needs.
• Be sincere and attach no strings to your offers.
• Be humble about your kind acts – or even anonymous.

Teaching Kindness to Uninvolved Students

Parents and teachers teaching kindness to children and teens who are neither bullies nor bullied can enlist those students with concerned adults in a concerted kindliness effort.

You may want to separate uninvolved students from bullies and the bullied for teaching kindness. You will allow this group of students to apply their lessons in the destruction of bullying.

Teach students to watch, first of all, for needs the bullies and bullied have. Bullying will only be destroyed when you see the needs.

Bullying statistics show that children and teens who bully or who are bullied often have these needs:

• They feel lonely.
• They can’t make friends.
• They aren’t doing well academically.
• They are addicted to smoking, drinking, or drugs.

Show the students and adults in your effort practical action steps they can take to meet those needs in loving ways. If everyone to whom you are teaching kindness works together to alleviate loneliness, think how quickly that need will be met. If everyone sacrifices personal desires to make friends with the bullies and the bullied, another need is met. Students who are skilled in academics can be paired with bullies and the bullied to help them achieve academically. The sincere, loving involvement of teachers and parents can help conquer addictions and negative behaviors.

Teaching Kindness to Bullies and the Bullied

Teaching kindness to bullies and the bullied themselves is the final step in destroying bullying.

How do you go about teaching kindness to bullies? How do you start teaching kindness to bullied children? Shouldn’t these two groups be recipients only of kind actions? Isn’t it enough for others to show kindliness to them?

Actually, we get more joy from exercising this trait toward others than we do from receiving others’ kind actions toward us.

When teaching kindness, it is important to require that bullies and the bullied get involved. Teach them separately from other students and give specialized help.

Challenge both groups to look for needs in the other group. Make it a contest. Who can see more needs: bullies or the bullied? List the needs, and then create opportunities for them to go out of themselves to meet the needs of others.

1. Understanding flowing into desire and then action. All character traits are built intellectually first. We must understand the trait. Understanding flows into desire for the trait. Desire leads to action as we begin to exercise the trait consistently.

2. Assumption of personal sacrifice if necessary. The exercise of any character trait may require known or

Consensus at Work

A list of character traits was drawn up by consensus at a U.S. conference some years ago. The conference was convened in part for the purpose of establishing a list of character traits that would be used in public schools and other institutions across the United States. A brief look at that convention will help us understand the problem with the product it created.

• Numbers. If you said many people should have been invited to such a conference, you would be right. From a population of over 254 million (at that time), those who convened the meeting should have invited a sizable number of representatives. Sadly,

Character traits all have consequences, but let’s use honesty as our example.

Some studies list the following sentence as one of the most common examples of dishonesty:

“Say I’m not here.”

Many people, from corporate CEOs to children, rely on that lie. Do you?

Imagine you are busy, working with enjoyment on a big project. The telephone rings. Someone answers it, and comes to tell you that it’s Harry. Harry is not known for having strong character traits, and you don’t want to talk to him.

You start to whisper urgently, “Say I’m not here.” Then you think better of it. You decide to be honest. “I’ll take the call,” you say quietly.

The initial consequences of your honesty are anything but pleasant. Harry is a non-stop talker. He’s also a relentless fundraiser. You neither can nor want to donate to his cause. You want to get back to your project, but Harry is not about to take “No” for an answer. Your honesty results in a half-hour assault on your ears and conscience.

Character traits have opposites, of course.

Had you exercised dishonesty, sending Harry the lie that you weren’t there, you might have had pleasant consequences instead. You might have continued to enjoy your project. You might have had a half hour of peaceful quietness. You would not have had to confess that you couldn’t afford to donate to Harry’s cause. On the face of things, it seems that dishonesty had the more pleasant consequences.

That is not the end of the story, however.

Had you sent the lie to the phone, you would have stressed yourself. The reason a lie detector’s needle exhibits such erratic jumps is that lying causes stress. Stress is an unpleasant consequence of dishonesty. In addition, the person you asked to convey the lie would probably not keep your lie a secret. That leak could be a bad consequence. Somewhere along the line, your lie would influence that person or others to lie. Oh, and word would likely get back to Harry, too – one nasty consequence on top of another. One that you might not consider, but that research proves, is this: Dishonest people tend to attract disloyal, evasive, unreliable people into their lives.

There’s even more to the story of character traits.

Intolerance

How can teaching kindness overcome intolerance?

First, we must understand what tolerance is. Real tolerance is often greatly misunderstood. What is it?

True tolerance is a quality that helps us recognize and bear with another person’s differences, whatever those differences are. At the same time, tolerance makes us take action to keep ourselves from accepting and appreciating every difference that goes against our convictions.

Teaching kindness helps students understand when others need to have their differences recognized. Teaching kindness gives them incentive to meet that need – to recognize differences without giving in to them.

At the same time, teaching kindness helps young people realize that everyone has a need to have strong convictions. Everyone has a need to hold on to convictions, even those that are different from yours and mine.

Tolerance must always flow in two directions, not one. Teaching kindness involves teaching that truth.

Violence

Teaching kindness is a way to overcome violence also.

Violence occurs when one person or group wants what they do not have and decides to get it. Maybe it is money. Maybe it is more power. They may want more land. Whatever it is, they choose violence as a way to get it.

Those who are teaching kindness must help people understand the difference between wants and needs. Teaching kindness is a way to help people get what they need, but not everything they want. A good teacher will help students list needs and wants so they can understand that.

A good teacher will encourage students to exercise kindness in meeting real needs. He or she will show them that the exercise of kindness will meet needs far more quickly and peacefully than violence will.

Children yell, “That isn’t fair!” Teens sound off about unfairness, too, but do young people really understand fairness?

Give the Dog a Bone

Fairness means that if you give one student a treat, you give every student the same treat, right? Dogs expect that kind of fairness according to a study published a year ago.

Picture two dogs. You look at them and command, “Shake.” Two paws shake your hand. You give Dog #1 a bone, but give nothing to Dog #2. Again you command, “Shake.” Again both dogs extend paws. You give Dog #1 another bone, and give Dog #2 nothing.

Now the betrayed dog stops playing. You didn’t play by the rules. You took advantage of him. He thinks you are not exercising fairness, but what is fairness?

Definition

Fairness is a quality that shows you where the line of impartiality lies; and makes you hold that line; sacrificing personal interests, prejudice, and favoritism.

Impartiality

Fairness requires impartiality – treating everyone with equity. Even if you “have a thing against” red hair, fairness will not allow you to treat redheads differently from others.

Fairness requires impartiality, but there is a line of impartiality. You must not step over that line, but where does it lie?

A Line in the Fairness Sand

Fairness is defined by some as little more than playing by the rules and not taking advantage of others – equity for the sake of equity – impartiality regardless of factors.

Did you ever watch an ant carry a large cookie crumb to some far away nest? Maybe you commented on the ant’s heavy load, but did you think about her perseverance?

Did you ever see a ram try to butt its way through a fence? You may have laughed as he banged his head against the wood, but did you think about his perseverance?

Maybe you have watched a snail moving along the garden path, leaving a shiny trail of slime. You might have joked about how slow it was, but did you think about the snail’s perseverance?

What is perseverance?

Definition

Perseverance is a quality that sees difficulties in what we have planned, but causes us to take action and move ahead through those difficulties, no matter how severe they are, sticking with our undertaking until we reach the end.

Action!

Perseverance is impossible without action. If we begin an undertaking and then do nothing, we are quitting.

This character trait requires action that endures no matter what pressure is brought against us.

Ants

Ants are not able to exercise the character trait, but they give us a good example of it. They plan to carry home as much food as possible. They take action to pick up the food, and move ahead in spite of opposition such as rocks and logs. They persist in their undertaking until they reach home.

Rams