What a life-changing, perhaps life-saving lesson this is, and yet so few parents and teachers seem concerned enough to teach it.
Character counts for a lot in dating. A list of character traits shows at a glance how important character is in such a relationship. Do you want to date a person who is adaptable? That’s a character trait. Do you want someone who shows appreciation for the things you are and do? You want character. Are you looking for someone who is caring, and sincere? You’re looking for character.
Character counts brings to dating the fullness of love, as it brings the ability to do what is best for the one you love. It brings the self-sacrifice that is necessary if one is to show true love. It brings, too, the forgiveness that a date must have if the relationship is to continue in the face of unexpected trials. The best-selling romance, Date with Responsibility demonstrates this kind of dating relationship. It’s based on the true story of a personal acquaintance of the author, and shows teenagers movingly how character counts in dating. Written sensitively enough that any pre-teen or teen can read it without offense, this book’s challenge and drama attract many adult readers as well.
Character counts when dating either a stranger or long-time acquaintance. Responsibility can help both parties avoid many dating pitfalls. Character counts in the way one dresses for a date. Prudence does not, after all, mean prude. Character counts in the choosing of dating destinations. Discernment as to the suitability and safety of a location are vital. Character counts in punctuality when dating. Character counts in temperance. It brings honesty and trustworthiness to your “love connection.”
Character counts greatly in dating, but how can we convey that to young people. They don’t want lectures that might change their behavior. Few of us want to be told by others what we should do – but many teens are, notoriously, more willing to fight than change.
Perhaps the greatest thing we can teach teens concerning character is that they must form convictions on what they believe, and then have the courage of their convictions. This is the core message of the exciting teenage novel, Passport to Courage. Woven through the riveting plot, which one teen rated 5 stars out of 5, is the clarion call to know firmly what you believe and then stick to it. It is a call to reject peer pressure at any place where it crosses one’s convictions, and stay the course.
Hollywood’s message to teenagers is quite the opposite of this. The entertainment industry insists that we all do what feels good, not what we believe to be right. Courage is not required for instant gratification, or for bowing to the demands of others. Character, according to Hollywood, is for those who are afraid to be strong and courageous – wimps. Of course, Hollywood is not into character building.
I believe we should give teenagers a character foundation of convictions, teach them the courage of standing for those convictions, even at personal sacrifice, and help them make that teaching their own, putting it into action.
Character counts in dating, and teenagers need to know that!
That’s the view from my chair. What’s your view?