The other day, I was talking with a dear friend about problems encountered when placing an elderly parent in a rest home. As we spoke, I suddenly remembered a man of whom I have not thought for some time.
Mr. Williamson (not his real name) was himself a senior citizen when I met him. He was on the board of directors of an international student organization with which I was working. He owned a large corporation and a substantial income from that corporation. He was a leader in his church. He was also a well-known, important person in our large city, active in its government. Mr. Williamson was, to say the least, a very busy individual.
However, his busy lifestyle never interfered with one very important appointment. Early every morning, seven days a week, Mr. Williamson drove to one of our area’s very best nursing homes. Greeting the staff by name, he made his way to a beautiful room in that home – one of its best rooms. Hurrying into that room, he greeted an aged woman – his mother.
They chatted briefly, and then, as the staff delivered meals, Mr. Williamson laid aside his top-quality suit coat, and took up a self-imposed duty. He fed breakfast to his elderly parent. As he fed her, he talked to her. He gave her tidbits of family news. He told her his plans for the day. He lifted her spirits. He gave her reason to live. He showed his love.
For readers who do not live in the United States, let me assure you that the responsibility of feeding elderly patients is normally handled by the staff of a rest home. This being a quality rest home, there was no reason to suspect that they would not do it, and do it well. There was no reason for Mr. Williamson to do this each morning – no reason other than his sincere love for his mother.
Character counts toward elderly parents, and children must develop that character in youth if they are to exercise it in later years. Love such as Mr. Williamson showed is not born overnight. The foundations of it are laid in youth with a character education program in the home or in schools. That program may be formal or informal, but it will be strong. It will cement into a child character traits such as love and respect for parents. It will embed strong responsibility, leaving no question of how they will later treat their elderly parents.
Character counts toward elderly parents before they arrive in a rest home, too. It counts in the decision as to whether or not to place a parent in a nursing home. It counts in trying to find alternative ways to care for our parents. It counts in seeking to give them the maximum independence for the maximum number of years. Love for our parents (or spouse) and appreciation for them will influence us strongly, if we possess and exercise those character traits.
This year, thousands of the “baby-boom” generation will celebrate their sixtieth birthdays. Thousands of them will be responsible for elderly parents, deciding how to make their closing decade or two as comfortable and happy as possible.
Character counts, baby-boomers, toward your elderly parents. Exercise every ounce of it you have built. Think about Mr. Williamson.
That’s the view from my chair. What’s your view?