Part #3
The last time I wrote, I promised practical help for turning not-so-clean speech into clean speech – turning bad language into good language. What is bad language? Bad language includes words that we all consider bad, off-color, dirty, adult, or obscene, as well as those fringe words we substitute that retain the same bad meaning. It also includes expressions that use the name of God in any other way than reverently speaking to or about Him.
Here are two tests to determine which words in your vocabulary fit the definition of bad language. (1) Ask a few family, friends, and coworkers. The honest ones will tell you. (2) Ask yourself whether you would want your 3-year old (that little sponge with ears) to use the same words or expressions you use.
Character demands totally clean speech, totally good speech, and that goal will be reached only through determined, consistent work to form new habits. Whether you are teaching yourself, children, teenagers, or other adults, you will need to be firm and insist on determination blended with consistent effort.
Here are some practical suggestions to get you started. A more thorough discussion of this method is available in the how-to book Character, Character Builder Series #1.
1) Assess where you stand now, as discussed on page 51 of Character. Construct a list of all the words and phrases you use that are the least bit bad. Write down every bad word and phrase. Be thorough. This assessment will be the guide to your program.
2) Divide the list into three parts: Bad, Worse, and Worst.
3) Select a focus word or phrase from the “worst” list as discussed on page 52 of Character.
4) Set a goal for the focus word or phrase. Character has an entire chapter on goal-setting.
5) Write out the definition of your focus word or phrase and learn exactly what it means. Select a synonym – a “clean” word to express the same meaning.
6) Determine your motivation for removing the focus word or phrase from your vocabulary. What are the benefits to you personally; to your family; to co-workers?
7) Find a role model who demonstrates clean language. This could be someone you know personally, an individual in your community, or even a fictional person from a book.
8) Establish consequences for yourself. Decide how you will “punish” and “reward” yourself. Maybe you want a “dirty language jar” in which you place a small coin each time you use the focus word or phrase. As you use it less often, increase the “cost” to keep yourself motivated. Plan to reward yourself with the collected money when that word or phrase is gone from your speech.
9) Work conscientiously to replace your focus word or phrase with the new one, putting action to your decision. Concentrate on conscious decisions about word use.
10) Never try to justify yourself when you make wrong decisions and use the bad language.
Character demands totally clean speech. Keep your eye on the goal, and within 21 days, you will have replaced your focus word. Choose a new one, repeat the process, and you will soon have speech that is worthy of a person of character.
That’s the view from my chair. What’s your view?