Imagine this. You are a parent – or you are a teacher. You have the privilege and responsibility of teaching character to one or more young people. They may be toddlers, teens, or betweens, but they are yours for character education. How do you make them want to build character?
Secret: All young people want to be like adults.
I remember our son, at not quite three-years old, asking, “Mommy, teach me to read.” He didn’t ask because he was bored. He had plenty of toys. He had a number of Japanese playmates. He had his sister who, only five months his senior, enjoyed the same things he enjoyed. He was a happy child, but there was something he didn’t have.
He didn’t have the ability to be like the adults in his home. He could not read. From the time of his birth, he had seen my husband and me reading books many times a day. He had seen our bookshelves filled with books. He had seen children’s books on lower shelves. He had seen open books on desks and tables. He had handled picture books. He had handled our books. He had listened as we read to him from books. He knew that we loved reading – and he wanted to love it, too. So before his third birthday, he was already asking, “Mommy, teach me to read.”
He wanted to be like the adults in his life. It is a trait of every child. It is the reason they readily play with toys that mimic adult life. It explains why little girls often want to dress up in heels and make-up – why little boys often want to build things or work on toy vehicles. It explains pre-teens and teenagers who want to experiment with sex, even when we are certain they understand both physical and emotional dangers. It explains teenagers who can’t wait to get driver’s licenses or first jobs. They all want to be like adults.
This trait is the secret. With it, you can make them want to build character. Let them see a love of character in you and the other adults who fill their daily lives, and they will want to build character to be like you. Let them see a history teacher who boldly and eagerly brings out the moral excellence of every historical figure encountered. Let them observe teachers and parents who talk together about character, whether or not children are present. Minimize discussions about adults who do not exercise character, and maximize instances when character is ostensibly exercised. Surround them with good character role models, including those in purpose-written character books. Exercise character consistently and visibly. Let them know that you work constantly to build your own character.
Let them see you reading character books. Place a copy of the adult self-help book Character or Courage on top of other books on your desk – and read from it during breaks. Be courageous enough to wear character builder gear – or drink your coffee from a character builder mug. Talk to your coach about ordering character builder shirts for a team, and making it “cool” to build character.
On the flip-side, be sure they never catch you exercising anything other than character. They will want to mimic that also.
That’s the view from my chair. What’s your view?